Without any generalization, I would like to believe that one woman must be responsible to hold our family together. I could not help but honor her who had stood the test of times and survived the greatest trials she had to bear. She keeps me grounded.
I saw her lamented for the loss of loved ones, twice: first, upon the untimely death of her youngest son (1988) and second, after the accidental death of her husband (2005). She would mourn to death but she would go back to her senses to assemble the pieces left in her life. She has become stronger after every downfall. She will always have a reason to move forward.
She is resilient. She is a woman of love, faith and courage. She is my mother and to her, I would never cease to be her son.
Faith in children
She fought for me when I was a second grader when I did not receive any recognition or honor from my teacher. She never thought I was the ‘dumbest’ student of my class.
Of course there was politics involved then. My Grade 2 teacher and Grade 1 teacher had a catfight. The former made a pact that she would not give award to the honor students of the latter.
Stupid as it seems, but that’s for real.
The following school year, I was transferred to another school and finished the third grade next to the top student. The rest is history and I always finished every school year with flying colors.
I think my Grade 2 teacher should be thankful to my mother’s naiveté that she didn’t bring the matter to the proper forum but took off a different route instead.
When our eldest brother was caught in a gang trouble, she was there to make amends and salvage him from legal repercussion.
When my younger brother, a ‘campus notorious’, was in the brink of losing his chance to graduate from high school, she was there to help him cope with his backlogs.
She didn’t lose her confidence with her children as a mother. I think no mother believes her children are stupid and she would do her best to prove the world she’s right.
Perhaps, responsible motherhood requires her to be the first person to accept her children’s shortcomings, to be the first to believe in their capacity and be the first to encourage them to become successful.
The word ‘success’ has a wide range of meaning relative to someone’s social status, but she believes the road to success is to have a better education. This belief is not uncommon to every poverty-stricken Filipino family as it runs within our core. Although, nowadays this claim may no longer hold true if one would think that our educational system is governed by multiple factors, we keep holding on to the promises of better education.
She is one amongst millions of Filipino parents that believe education is the only ‘wealth’ they can pass on to their children and it can never be ‘taken away’ from them.
Suffer for education
She grew up to a family whose parents’ literacy goal for their children was to just learn to read and to write. Their parents, despite able financially, did not support hers and siblings’ college education.
She’s determined not to make the same mistakes her parents did. The small paycheck she receives from my father never gets in the way of sending us to college. She may not have stepped into college but she had a way getting her children there despite struggling financially.
She was willing to suffer for us to get a higher education.
When I told her I wanted to pursue my College in Manila, she never turned me down in my pursuit for better education even if it would entail her to embrace the bed of poverty. She believed in me and she had to convince my father to agree with her.
In College, I resented the times when I was taking the largest share in my father’s small income so I won’t be starved in Manila while my family back in the province would have to live with what was left after him handing over my allowance. In return, I promised to repay her sacrifices with a better life in the future.
Simple and significant life
Even if the promise of a better future is a far-fetched reality, she remained content and happy with the things she have. In one of our conversations she told me that she’s thankful to God that she had enough.
She finally embraced a simple life, yet in her simplicity, I see beauty and elegance.
I would like to think that she sees herself as successful mother and she did.
To be successful is to live a simple, yet significant life, that’s what you told me. Happy Mother’s Day, ‘Nay Minerva.
