It’s been a while since I posted a blog to share my thoughts and experience. Silence was intentional. Doing nothing and thinking nothing. No written ideas. I am studying in a seminary, but I felt I learned nothing with what I am doing or by not doing anything. The reason being was that someone had pressed the button and it started to affect my leadership and ministry. I almost had given up. I was supposed to share, lead, and empower people; but I felt the need inside, looked for a leader who will guide me or someone who will empower me. Maybe there is a price for high position (James 1:9). But because of God’s love and grace, He used people to lift my spirit again. Despite what happened, I need to highlight the following discovery and lessons I’ve learned:
•I discovered that I am also vulnerable in spite of my strong-willed personality.
•I learned that besides being dependent upon God, I need somebody to rely on. The more I am becoming self-reliant the stronger I felt alone.
•I am also reminded that I cannot control the actions of other people but I can choose to control my reaction.
•I have a godly calling and I am the only person accountable to God about it.
I consider it a great privilege to rediscover myself, my purpose and my relationship to God and people. Maybe it is one of the benefits of my high position (or calling)- thus a reason to become more useful in God’s kingdom for his glory alone. Since today is my birthday, and many have shown their thoughtful love for me, it is the best time to continue my journey again.
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